Fertility is a tough area to navigate, especially when you hear of other people’s seemingly easy success at becoming pregnant. Baby showers, ultrasound photos, gender reveals, even baby shops can be hard to take. While fertility issues are actually not uncommon, it’s still a hushed topic that few are willing to discuss or admit.
While it seems that everyone else’s fertility is right on par, it’s important to understand that you don’t actually know their back story unless they tell you outright. For all you know, your co-worker has been trying to get pregnant for months. Or some other acquaintance miscarried or lost a baby. They’re more likely to display the happy signs of pregnancy, but they’re less likely to announce their fertility struggles.
Sometimes, it’s easiest just to assume that people had a more difficult time fertility-wise than they’re letting on. For some people, they might have more trepidation about announcing their successful pregnancy or are just private people, but others might be so elated that they finally were able to get pregnant, fertility issues and all, that they’ll announce it to the world.
If you’re experiencing fertility issues and feel helpless, depressed or generally sad, it helps to build a solid network of people you can rely on. Reach out to family and learn more about their own fertility issues. Sometimes fertility issues run in the family. Talk to your friends; even if they didn’t experience any problems getting pregnant, they are bound to know people who have. Look for support groups in your neighbourhood or even online. Lastly, talk to a therapist about what you’re feeling.
It’s also important to find a fertility specialist who is reputable. While it would be ideal to find a doctor who can double as a therapist, however, it’s better to let the fertility specialist focus on your physical health while a therapist can help you through the more emotional aspects. It’s important to keep in mind that sometimes the best fertility specialists might not have the time or personality that matches your emotional needs. At the same time, it’s crucial that the fertility practice explains your options and procedures clearly to you. They may also have a mentor program in which they can partner you with other patients or former patients who can help you through the whole process.
While stress over fertility issues is quite common, it can help to try some activities that reduce the stress. Yoga, meditation, t’ai chi, or even walking with your partner can help boost circulation and relieve some tension while also spending time together.