May 10 is Dr. Miller Day!
Did you know May 10th is Dr. Miller Day? Neither did we, until our patient, Jamie, shared that she created this special day to remember her fertility journey, the support she received from her “village” and of course the doctor who helped her become a mom!
Jamie writes:
Our fertility journey started as most do, with a lot of hope and a lot of disappointing negative pregnancy tests. During my initial testing, I found out I had 2 fibroids and one was very large. Although I kept asking about the large one, I was told by 3 different doctors that they weren’t an issue and was encouraged to start IUI or IVF.
Although reluctant, we started planning on how and when to move forward. Through that process, we started applying for grants. While looking at the grant application, I started reading into how it would be scored. In the fine print, I noticed certain types of fibroids would disqualify us from the grant, and that is because they can make IVF less successful. This made me, once again, question my fibroid. I told my husband that I wanted to find an expert opinion to rule out the fibroid causing my fertility issues before beginning any treatment. I started to research fibroid experts, and one name kept coming up again and again in my search, Dr. Charles Miller.
In April 2022, during my consultation with Dr. Miller, I expected to hear, once again, that the fibroid was “fine.” Dr. Miller recommended surgery, and on May 10th, 2022 he successfully removed both fibroids. We spent the next few months healing, trying to enjoy life, appreciating what we have, and planning our next steps to bring home a baby of our own.
In August 2022, I returned to Dr. Miller’s office, and he told me that things healed well and we could start trying again. During that same month, I was on pins and needles hoping to hear that we got the IVF cycle grant. However, less than three weeks after my follow-up visit with Dr. Miller, our jaws dropped when we got our positive pregnancy test! It was clear that the fibroid was what had been causing my infertility, and if we hadn’t done our research and sought out Dr. Miller’s expertise, we would have spent thousands on IVF without any success.
On April 17, 2023 our miracle baby girl, Fontana, was delivered via c-section. We cannot thank Dr. Miller enough for taking his time to listen to our concerns, truly evaluating the fibroid and its impact, and for his flawless surgery. Without Dr. Miller, we wouldn’t have had a first birthday to celebrate last month.
This Friday we will celebrate our second Dr. Miller Day. This year we took the time to reflect and appreciate those who were a part of our village by writing cards to family, friends, and those strangers who supported us during our darkest days of infertility. Each person is represented by a house, and when we put them all together, it was empowering to see just how many people helped us along the way. No two infertility journeys are the same, but for those still in the trenches, trust your gut and advocate for yourself.
Patient Story- Lauren
“Now, I look at my daughter and have to pinch myself. I can’t believe she’s here!”
We know the holidays can be a challenging time for many of our patients. However, today we want to share Lauren’s story with you. This time last year, Lauren wondered if she would ever become a mother. Today, she has a beautiful baby girl. Unhappy with her previous clinic, Lauren came to Dr. Miller. He listened to her concerns and together they came up with a treatment plan. Another example of how important it is to advocate for yourself when it comes to your health.
Lauren writes:
My story is one of finding hope with Dr. Miller and with the wonderful staff at the Advanced IVF Institute. My husband and I had been through a lot by the time I made a teary phone call to the receptionist (or angel?) at Dr. Miller’s office. We had been years-long patients elsewhere, and had experienced four failed IUIs and two rounds of IVF yielding only one embryo and subsequent miscarriage. We were tired, sad, and wondering if becoming parents was achievable. Our previous doctor told us we would be “lucky” to end up with one child, and suggested egg donation. After researching different fertility specialists online and comparing SART statistics, I knew Dr. Miller would be the best choice for us.
When we met with Dr. Miller, he had a thorough knowledge of our history, a plan, and compassion for what we had been through. I have PCOS and thyroid disease and felt that my previous clinic did not take this into account when creating my treatment plan.
Dr. Miller took my concerns seriously and addressed them. I had concerns about insulin resistance, he investigated it and treated it. I had concerns that my previous clinic did not take my thyroid disease seriously enough and allow for appropriate monitoring, he agreed and made sure my levels were optimal before proceeding. My husband was concerned about his inconsistent fertility testing, Dr. Miller confirmed that we were dealing with an element of male factor infertility.
After our first meeting, I distinctly remember him saying, “I might not get it the first time around, but I’m confident we will get you on the right treatment plan.” Well, he did get it the first time around. Imagine our surprise and delight when on our first round with Dr. Miller we ended up with five beautiful embryos, and a pregnancy on our first transfer. He and his staff celebrated with me each week when things were going well in my early pregnancy, and by the time I “graduated” these people felt like family.
Today, we have a beautiful baby. When recovering in the hospital, my husband asked me if I thought Dr. Miller knew how much he changed our lives. When we had no hope left, he gave us everything. I think about this time last year, and not in my wildest dreams did I think I would be where I am today. I spent six years of Christmases thinking “Next year will be my year.” Now, I look at my daughter and have to pinch myself. I can’t believe she’s here!
My advice to those going through this is to live while you’re waiting. It’s tempting to throw everything you have into the process when you’re going through it. One month off from treatment to take a vacation or celebrate something special is good for your mind and body- don’t forget to nurture yourself.
Patient Story- Sheri
“We have been very blessed with great kids who seem to appreciate life, maybe because somehow, subconsciously they know that it took that extra little miracle to be here.”
Up until now, our patient stories have featured women who have recently become mothers. However, today’s submission is from Sheri, who first became a patient 20 years ago! Technology has advanced over the years, but the overarching message from Dr. Miller remains the same: “trust the process.”
My story begins many years ago (my two miracle babies are now 19 and 16)!
After years of trying to conceive, being on countless fertility drugs, endless testing and 5 years of monthly disappointing moments we decided it was time to take the next infertility step and meet Dr. Miller. My husband and I immediately felt confident he was the answer to our unexplained infertility. We left with a sense of relief. He looked us right in the eye and said “trust the process.” It was Dr. Miller’s confidence and stellar reputation that made us say “When can we start!”
The process, although long and hard at times was, by far, made less grueling and easier to face because of Dr. Miller and his staff. Every single person we encountered was kind, sympathetic, positive, caring and made us feel like they were our “infertility family”. There was one person in particular who will always stand out and be a part of my heart and that was Lynne who was at the front desk. Her smile when I walked in put me at ease instantly.
Infertility is praying endlessly. It’s sad, depressing, hard, lonely and you shed many tears. There are many roadblocks and setbacks but this journey with Dr. Miller was worth every single minute.
We were very fortunate that our first round of IVF gave us our son and our second round gave us our daughter.
Both of those IVF cycles began as multiple pregnancies but by some miracle our son and our daughter held on when we experienced vanishing embryos. It was terrifying to think we were losing the babies. I remember the moment when we thought we were miscarrying. Dr. Miller was in Europe and he called personally to ease our fears and tell me what to do to give the other baby the best chance. Grief hit hard knowing our multiples were now single pregnancies. I still think of what would have been had that not happened but take a moment to remember them and even though we never met them we love them always for what little time they were ours.
A year after our daughter was born we kept trying for more children without success. Time was not on my side because of my age. Dr. Miller saw me struggling mentally and finally gave me the strength to walk away and enjoy the 2 miracles we were blessed with.
Our son, Nick, is now 19 and studying engineering at Purdue and our daughter, Emily, is 16 and thriving in high school. Every moment of their lives has been better than the next. We have been very blessed with great kids who seem to appreciate life, maybe because somehow, subconsciously they know that it took that extra little miracle to be here.
To all the patients present and future…I pray for you, I wish you peace always and I hope your dreams come true. You deserve to be parents!
Patient Story- Breda
“Not everyone will understand IVF or be able to relate, so it’s important to surround yourself with support. More people than you realize struggle with infertility.”
Today’s patient story is from Breda. After not finding success or feeling comfortable at another fertility clinic, Breda came to us. We are all glad she did! Dr. Miller was able to diagnose her with endometriosis and after surgery and IVF, she was able to get pregnant. Breda is due in January!
Breda writes:
I met my husband later in life and we got married when I was 38. I was and still am wary of the stigma of older mothers, even though being older is accepted. I’ve always wanted a family and we started trying right away, but I had three miscarriages in a year and a half. I was at a different fertility clinic for a year, but didn’t feel comfortable there. My husband’s colleague recommended we see Dr. Miller and what a difference!
We first met online during COVID and Dr. Miller told us, “You’ll be a mother, kiddo.” He was so kind, didn’t rush us, and he explained everything. He learned I was an English teacher and told me a story that put me at ease. He never stopped his storytelling, and I welcomed his personable demeanor after some bad experiences at the previous clinic. Dr. Miller found issues that the previous doctor did not, including endometriosis.
After a biopsy, Dr. Miller found abnormalities in my uterus and I was diagnosed with Level 1 endometriosis. During surgery, he removed five spots on my uterus. I also had the Endometrial Receptivity Assay biopsy to determine the receptivity of the uterus to implantation. Soon after, we had an egg retrieval and two transfers.
Throughout this process, Dr. Miller and his staff explained everything so thoroughly and never seemed irritated or disinterested when I had questions. I also got to know Dr. Miller and the nurses because they talked to me during appointments. I always felt people cared and were invested in our success. I felt so secure going into our procedures and never felt anxiety or stress visiting the office.
Even though our first transfer failed, a second embryo implanted and I will never forget that experience. Dr. Miller, Courtney, and Melody were present for the transfer, and made me feel so comfortable. Dr. Miller even told us a funny story about meeting an actor from Will & Grace. While we waited after the transfer, my husband and I held hands and prayed, and we also talked about how wonderful it would be if it worked. Many times, we dreamed of finishing our nursery and being able to move forward with our plan. The transfer worked, and our baby is due January 8, 3.5 years after we began IVF and what seems like a million doctor appointments.
I was very nervous the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy and braced myself for bad news, but at every ultrasound Courtney reassured me with her positivity. We are so grateful for everyone at the Naperville office.
It took until I was about 20 weeks pregnant for me to relax and realize we’re finally going to be parents! I’ve cried many happy tears for a change! Not everyone will understand IVF or be able to relate, so it’s important to surround yourself with support. More people than you realize struggle with infertility. Meditation and journaling are helpful (as well as long walks with our dog, my first baby). Finally, never stop hoping and praying, even if you’re an older mother!
Patient Story- Molly
“We have been so blessed that I know all the pain and suffering we endured was worth it.”
We’re featuring Molly’s story today! Molly’s story is unique because she was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. This is a tricky diagnosis, because even after testing a cause cannot be determined. When this is the case, there is a lot of trial and error in order to achieve pregnancy. But as Dr. Miller always says: “Trust the process.” That’s just what Molly did and now she has two beautiful sons. Read her story below.
I first became a patient of Dr. Miller’s in 2012 when I had a myomectomy, a surgical procedure to remove uterine fibroids. After getting married and trying for several months to get pregnant, a co-worker suggested I see Dr. Miller, but this time as a fertility specialist. At our first appointment, Dr. Miller ordered blood work and a hysterosonogram which is an ultrasound exam that provides images of the inside of the uterus to help diagnose the cause of abnormal vaginal bleeding. However, everything came back fine. I was told I had unexplained fertility. This wasn’t the news I wanted to hear! It would have been easier to have a specific reason for why I could not get pregnant.
I was put on medication for thyroid and prolactin issues. After a month on the medication, it was advised we try an IUI. We failed all three attempts. Dr. Miller said IVF would need to be our next step. Soon after, my retrieval resulted in 26 eggs! My husband and I were so excited, our dream of having a baby was one step closer.
However, we were unable to do a fresh transfer at that time because I was borderline for Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). This occurs when a woman’s ovaries swell and leak fluid into the body. This condition is temporary and occurs in less than 5% of women who receive fertility treatments. Instead, we ended up freezing 8 embryos. About two months later one embryo was successfully transferred. It was a strange feeling, because I was so happy and terrified at the same time.
After graduating from Dr. Miller’s office, my OB/GYN monitored me closely and that little embryo was born at 34 weeks gestation. Again, I was happy and terrified at the same time. Thankfully our little boy was healthy and strong.
After our son turned 18 months, we decided to start the process to have another child. We decided to follow the same protocol as before and do a transfer in three months. Unfortunately, it failed. After meeting with Dr. Miller again, he advised us to do a trial cycle with an Endometrial Biopsy (EMB). An EMB tests whether the uterine lining is preparing itself adequately for implantation of the embryo. If the lining is out of phase, it can prevent implantation from occurring or result in an early miscarriage. Because the results of my EMB were abnormal, I was treated with progesterone. The following month we had another transfer and it was successful! We welcomed our second baby boy this June./p>
Our two little boys are thriving! We are so happy we found Dr. Miller and are so grateful for everyone in the office as well as Dr. Deutch who did our last transfer. Our advice to other couples going through infertility is to know that you are strong, brave and deserve to be parents. Don’t ever give up! We have been so blessed that I know all the pain and suffering we endured was worth it.
Patient Story- Julia
“This is why you keep fighting; so that you can have peace. Whatever outcome will bring you peace, that is what you fight for.”
Julia is a patient that our office has known for quite some time. She recently welcomed her third baby boy and we have enjoyed getting updates and pictures throughout the years. A seasoned IVF veteran, Julia has been through it all and yet she is incredibly candid about her experience. This openness has led her to volunteer to answer calls for the Resolve support line twice a month. While there aren’t many calls, she is so grateful when she gets to speak to someone and give them some hope. We are so grateful that Julia has shared her story.
She writes:
The other day, I took my two older boys to the fire station open house. It was absolutely packed, it seemed like everyone from our town was there. I looked around at all of the children, moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, etc. and had a moment of self-doubt.
“I don’t belong here,” I thought to myself. “This event is for families.”
As if on cue, my middle son reached up to hold my hand, and my older son ran ahead and called out for me. “MOM! This way, follow me!”
I was instantly brought back to reality, my feelings of insecurity disappearing and belonging restored. I am a mom (of three boys!), and I DO belong at family events, school drop-off, parent-tot classes, parks and baby pools, and in the club that is Parenthood.
The lingering grief and pain of infertility can rear its ugly head at the strangest moments, like it did that Saturday morning. I remember the feeling of fear so well; the fear that I would never become a mom. I know all too well how painful the treatments and the unknowns are as I fought long and hard for my boys. However, I also know the peace that comes from a dream achieved. I want to instill hope in anyone who has that fear and pain, who is in the throes of fertility treatment, who is struggling with self-doubt and the unknown.
I have three beautiful and healthy boys. They are almost perfectly spaced apart; 2.5 years. From the outside looking in, we are a very typical family. And in most senses, that is correct – except for how our family was created.
We waited four years for our first son. I worked for one year with my ob-gyn and Clomid. I then had six stimulated rounds with my first fertility specialist and one miscarriage. When I met Dr. Miller, I had two more failed IVF rounds before we chose to use a donor egg. I had a polyp removal surgery. I did three trial cycles to determine the optimal window for an embryo transfer. We lost our first donor due to poor response to stimulation while I was on hormones alongside her. With our second donor, my first transfer was a blighted ovum that ended in two separate D&C surgeries. After extensive blood work, I was diagnosed with MTHFR, a genetic blood-clotting disorder that can affect implantation.
On November 9, 2016, my 13th cycle, I became pregnant with my first son.
Charlie was cycle 13. James was cycle 15. John was cycle 16.
I share the details of my journey not to overwhelm you, but to give you strength. Maybe your journey will be shorter than mine. Maybe it will be longer. It often felt daunting, hopeless at times, and never-ending. I remember the receptionist at Dr. Miller’s office pulled out my file. It looked like several copies of the Yellow Pages stacked on top of each other. During one of my meetings with Dr. Miller, he put his hand on top of that file and said, “Julia. We haven’t been through this much, for you to not get pregnant. I WILL get you pregnant.” I trusted him and pushed forward despite the fear and pain.
This is why you keep fighting; so that you can have peace. Whatever outcome will bring you peace, that is what you fight for. And you will know when that time comes. People ask me how I did it. They want to know how I managed the appointments and driving, the shots and tests, the physical side effects and emotional trauma, the disappointment and the grief.
I tell them the truth; you just do it. You have to keep going so that you can have your peace.
I promise that the grief and fear will fade with time. It might make an appearance here and there after you have achieved your dream, but that is just a little bit of PTSD from the journey. It will fade. You will hold your little miracle, you will walk with your child at the fire station open house, or into that parent-tot gym class, or to the first day of preschool, or story hour at the library and you will belong. You will feel peace.
Believe in Dr. Miller. Believe in his nurses, the ultrasound techs, the phlebotomist, his entire staff. Throw in some prayers, push forward, and wait for your time to come.
Patient Story- Rachael
“Our plan was always to have a baby, but our path certainly wasn’t a straight line.”
Our next patient story is from Rachael. Rachael’s journey to motherhood has not been an easy one. After undergoing several unsuccessful rounds of IVF, Dr. Miller advised Rachel to consider using an egg donor. In her story, Rachel describes the process she and her husband went through to choose an egg donor and what advice they would give to others in her situation. Rachael’s story has a happy ending- she is now pregnant and due with a baby boy in February!
Rachael writes:
To say that our journey was a difficult one is an understatement.
I was 34 years old when we wanted to start our family. After six months of trying on our own, we met with Dr. Miller. Testing and medication followed, and we eventually discovered – after finding out I had a diminished ovarian reserve, as well as confirming that I had a unicornuate uterus – that IVF was a route we needed to take. We diligently went to work ordering medication, setting up appointments, and saying so many prayers. Unfortunately, our first round failed. We just kept thinking, “This is it!” only to find ourselves back at square one.
When I met with Dr. Miller for our follow-up consult, he had another plan to try again. Upon leaving our meeting, he told me, “Stick with me, Rach! Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Knowing this was true, and knowing we had faith in our doctor, we trudged ahead and kept going. What followed were an additional five rounds (some stopped before retrieval), further testing and added medication, laparoscopic surgery, and the need to put on more weight in hopes that it would help my egg quality.
After several additional rounds of IVF and additional embryos from said rounds that didn’t take, our insurance plan was running out of options for us to keep moving forward. Dr. Miller advised us not to do the egg retrieval with my own eggs at that point and suggested turning to an egg donor. We were absolutely heartbroken. We knew that this was a real possibility, but the news was hard to take in. We were at the end of stimulation injections, and my body just wasn’t cooperating (which had happened during another of our previous cycles). Knowing my track record, Dr. Miller was concerned that this round would not work and then we’d really be out of options with my insurance. We converted the round to an IUI, but it didn’t take. A month later we transferred the one frozen embryo we had (insurance would still cover that), but we were left with a negative result.
We were angry, frustrated, and beyond depressed. We knew it was no one’s fault (I had to keep reminding myself that I did nothing wrong), but we couldn’t understand why it was happening. We did absolutely everything we possibly could to have a positive outcome, but were left with nothing but grief. You know everyone means well when they offer their condolences, but there are times when IVF is an incredibly isolating experience.
A few months later, we met with Dr. Miller again to discuss using an egg donor. He answered all our questions and felt optimistic about this new plan. When we were ready, we contacted an agency to get information. Later that fall, we chose our egg donor and started to feel more optimistic ourselves. Our donor went through the testing process and started some medication. We had psychological evaluations to make sure that everyone was in the right state of mind to go through this process, and we met with a lawyer to go through the contingencies of everything.
Our donor finally had her egg retrieval in February; we received 48 eggs (which was incredible!), and out of the 48, we had 17 embryos to freeze. We couldn’t quite sync up cycles, so we worked toward an April transfer, but then that got canceled due to me catching COVID-19. We were finally able to complete our transfer in May, and at the end of the month we received our first positive pregnancy test! I’m due in early February with a boy and am currently 18 weeks along (for a frame of reference, I am now 39 years old).
Moving forward, we have 16 embryos at our disposal. Besides some days where I didn’t feel great in the first trimester, my energy has bounced back in the second trimester and I feel pretty good! We’re really looking forward to the future and still cannot believe that we’re on the other side after years of wondering “what if?”
It was a long, difficult four-and-a-half years to get to this point. There were so many tears, early morning appointments, and hours upon hours of frustrating phone calls with insurance and pharmaceutical companies. There were so many pregnancy announcements by friends and family. There were so many times when we felt raw, numb, and alone. But on the other hand, we had hope. We had a strong support system, and we had a caring doctor who genuinely wanted the best for us. Dr. Miller’s staff was so kind and offered me hugs on more than one occasion when we received bad news. We learned to give into the unknown (something difficult for us teachers to do) and trust that we were doing everything we could.
If I can offer advice, I’d stress the importance of learning to pivot. Our plan was always to have a baby, but our path certainly wasn’t a straight line. We had to adjust the details of our dream, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll be any less of parents than we would have if things had worked with my genetics. Our dream could still be a reality, but adjustments were needed. Keep the end goal in mind: if it’s to have a child, understand that what that means might look different than what you anticipated when you started the journey.
If you find yourself in need of an egg donor (or sperm donor, if that’s the issue), I’d encourage you to take your time and go through the process when you’re ready. Don’t try to look for yourself in the pool of applicants; you won’t be there, and that’s okay. When we first got information from the egg donor agency, they encouraged us to not pay as much attention to pictures, but to focus on the information: we examined their health history and that of their relatives; we listened to their reasons for being a donor; we screened applications for the possibility of twins and triplets (given my unicornuate uterus, multiple births at one time was not considered a viable option); we also poured over their previous donor cycles to see what kind of success they had.
In the end, we chose someone who looked happy. She genuinely wanted to help other people conceive and assisted others in that goal already. The agency (and Dr. Miller’s office) couldn’t say enough good things about her, which was really reassuring. Besides matching my ethnicity, she does not look like me, but I’m keeping in mind that our boy very well may look more like my husband than the donor. If he doesn’t, that’s okay, too. This was something I had to learn to get comfortable with before we officially went through the donation process.
There are times when I look back at the last few years and the pain comes crashing back, and I’d be lying if I said it was easy to move on from my genetics. However, at the end of the day, the goal is to have a baby, and I learned that it is still possible if my genetics are no longer an option. This could be a path for you, too.
We would also encourage you to let people in and have a support network. My husband and I did not always want to talk about our struggles, but knowing we could speak with family and friends was helpful (and there are other support groups if you aren’t getting the support you need from those around you, too). Even though most of the people you know might not “get” the struggle you’re going through, it’s important to remember how many people are in your corner. You’re going to feel alone. You’re not.
Keep the faith. We’re rooting for you!
Patient Story- Courtney
“Keep going even when it feels like you can’t… The little victories will give you strength.”
Today’s patient story is from Courtney. Courtney discovered she had endometriosis when she and her husband were not able to conceive naturally after several months of trying. After undergoing surgery with Dr. Miller, she was able to get pregnant via IVF and just welcomed a baby boy only three weeks ago! Congratulations Courtney!
Courtney writes:
My husband and I began trying to conceive in late 2017. While at my yearly gyno appointment in May 2018, I mentioned we were trying to conceive. I was told to track ovulation with an app and/or pee sticks and go from there. My period had always been like clockwork and I learned that my ovulation was too. I maybe had heavier/more painful periods but nothing that ibuprofen and a heating pad couldn’t fix. My gynecologist did an internal ultrasound and noticed that one ovary was dense, leading her to believe that I might not ovulate on that side, however my pee sticks indicated that I did.
We ended up getting pregnant on our own in the summer of 2019, but that ended in a miscarriage (D&C) as there was nothing in the sac. I then had the dye test to see if my tubes were blocked and they were not. I also did 3 rounds of clomid with no pregnancy. This was the end of the road with my regular gynecologist as she couldn’t help me any further.
I then went to another gynecologist in my hometown to move onto IUIs. He did a natural IUI with no luck. Then we tried a medicated (clomid) IUI with no luck either. During this process, he did an internal ultrasound and that’s when I first learned I possibly had endometriosis. He referred me to Dr Miller.
I had laparoscopic surgery with Dr. Miller in Feb 2021 for endometriosis. We decided to try surgery before an egg retrieval, because Dr. Miller thought he could clean me out and then we could try to conceive naturally or with clomid as he didn’t think the endometriosis was as bad as it turned out to be. However, during surgery he found stage 4 endometriosis on my ovaries and appendix. He removed my appendix and did what he could on my ovaries in order to preserve them for IVF.
After my surgery, Dr Miller said that the endometriosis had been there for quite awhile because the cysts were so fixed to my ovaries. He said he did what he could to minimize the cysts but he couldn’t get rid of them fully because that would ruin good ovarian tissue for IVF. After I’m done having kids, I can have another surgery to fully clean me out.
It was invaluable to have Dr. Miller as my surgeon and fertility specialist. The entire time he was focused on the goal at hand- to have kids. I felt comfortable during the process that he knew what to do during surgery to make it possible for me to have kids.
After surgery, we started preparing for IVF and I had my egg retrieval in July 2021. We ended up with 4 well graded, untested embryos after retrieval. My first FET (frozen embryo transfer) was in September 2021 and unfortunately ended in a chemical pregnancy. Shortly thereafter, we did another transfer and I gave birth to my son, Leo, on August 11.
Going through infertility takes a toll on you emotionally and physically. Here are a few pieces of advice I would give to other women dealing with infertility.
- Keep going even when it feels like you can’t do/go anymore. The little victories will give you strength. For example, the recovery from retrieval was brutal for me, but when we found out we got 4 embryos, I felt like I could do it all over again.
- Ask for help and allow help from others. I am the most organized person out there but I had to have my husband take the reins on the meds because it was all too much for me. I never prepared, mixed, set up, or gave myself one shot!
- Don’t change your lifestyle. Dr Miller never once told me what to eat, drink, do, or not do. Working out was limited with retrieval and FET, but that was the extent of it.
- Take the month off and go on vacation. Dr Miller wrote in my message on the portal that this was a must! You have to continue to live your life as best as possible!
Patient Story: Kelly
“I’ve walked in your shoes, I see your fight. Keep going.”
Today marks the beginning of an exciting new series featuring our patients. They will be sharing personal stories that will give you hope, make you smile and bring happy tears to your eyes.
Our first story is from Kelly. She is the proud (and very new) mom of a baby boy. Kelly’s story has a happy ending, but it was a long and challenging path to get there. After going through years of infertility, Kelly became an infertility support group leader. Her group meets virtually once a month. Follow her @thesomewaymama for more information.
Kelly writes:
To My TTC Warriors in the Heart of Your Battle,
I’d like to think that I’m a polite person, so naturally after we walked away from our first appointment with Dr. Miller in September of 2018, I thanked him. He replied, “Don’t thank me until your baby is here.” This back and forth went on for years – “Thank you, Dr. Miller!” “Don’t thank me yet, Kiddo!” On day 1,663 of our time together, I was finally able to receive a gracious and supportive response from him as we welcomed our baby boy (yes, I counted the days of our often silent fight). I use the term, “fight” because if you’re reading this now, you know the roller coaster ride of infertility is truly just that – a fight.
For those of you in the thick of it, I see your pain, your grief and heartache. And although I am now a mom to my baby boy via a gestational surrogate, I will never forget the combat it took to get here. I will also say that I would go through every tear, early morning appointment, procedure, 2 week wait, heartbreak, blood draw, injection, ultrasound, sleepless nights and constant waiting by the phone a million times over if it meant bringing me to my baby.
I’m here to tell you to keep going. Refuse to take no as an answer and be relentless in your fight to become a parent. When I was told gestational surrogacy would be our best route to parenthood in 2020, I used that as fuel on my fire to become a mom. I made myself unstoppable and I want to encourage you to do the same.
I leave you with this. When they say: “Just you wait!” I say: I see you waiting. The two week wait, the constant waiting by your phone for next steps, the wait to begin treatment, the wait to let your body heal both physically and mentally.” I promise the “wait” you have been warned about when your baby arrives will be the best and biggest gift you will ever receive.
They say: “Get ready for sleepless nights.” I say: Those sleepless nights pacing your home full of worry will be replaced with sleepless nights full of happiness, joy and love you didn’t know was possible.
I’ve walked in your shoes, I see your fight. Keep going.
Thank you to Dr. Miller and every staff member who truly touched our lives and made our dreams come true.
Keeping Hope Alive: My Infertility Journey
In 2009, I married my best friend. Joe was loving, fun, a protector and my perfect match. He loved going out, being social and living in the moment. He was okay to never commit or have children. But that all changed when he met me.
One warm April day I got in a car accident. Joe was the responding officer, and he wrote me a ticket! But Officer Joe saw me in distress and panic, and offered to drive me home. Talking about where I was headed, we quickly learned that we had mutual friends at the restaurant where I worked. Let's just say these friends made this relationship happen.
Over the next few months of dating, I learned Joe had testicular cancer years ago and was already in advanced stages when he found out. He quickly had surgery and started chemotherapy a few weeks later. His family encouraged him to bank his sperm, but his doctor assured him the type of chemo he was using would not affect his fertility. Since Joe always planned to be single and never have children, there was no need to bank. But when he met me in 2005, I told him on our first date that it was my dream to have children. Needless to say, he changed his mind and wanted a child just as much as me.
Fast forward to September 2009: beautiful wedding, perfect life. We decided to start trying for a child in 2010. First month, nothing. Next month, nothing. 12 months later, nothing. We decided to get help. I scheduled an appointment with my ob/gyn and had tests conducted in November 2011 that determined I was not ovulating on time. He also wanted me to have a scan.
Concurrently, Joe's doctor wanted him to complete a sperm analysis. The office called and left a message saying that "everything looked good." During my scan, they determined I had what is called a septate uterus. Which means my uterus had tissue that divided it and that makes it difficult for an embryo to implant. My ob/gyn wanted to schedule surgery to cut the excess tissue out. Joe and I decided we needed a second opinion so we called a fertility specialist.
When we were meeting with the doctor, he turned to Joe and asked for the results of his sperm analysis. Five minutes later, a nurse retrieved our results and our world was rocked. Joe's analysis stated he had ZERO sperm. He wasn't okay. Our minds were blown to say the least. Then he asked us if we were open to adoption because we could never have children. We stood up crying in disbelief and left the office.
After doing some research and talking with my cousin who was an ob/gyn doing her fellowship in fertility, she recommended we visit a urologist and see if there was a way to "go in and get them". After seeing three different urologists over the course of four months, Joe had to start taking injections to prep for the TESE surgery in which sperm is surgically removed. Wouldn't you know in this six month span, our fertility specialist retired? Now we had to find a new one.
We were referred to Dr. Miller at the Advanced IVF Institute by many friends. They talked about everyone from the receptionists, nurses, and doctors. "They work miracles there," they said. Our first appointment with Dr. Miller was in late March of 2012. He looked over our file and said, "We are going to get you pregnant." He prepped us on the schedule of everything, including surgery to remove the septum and coordinating with the Urologist to prep Joe for surgery. Joe and I left the office that day smiling over our infertility struggle for the first time in two years.
In July of 2012, I had my surgery to remove the septum from my uterus. Everything went as planned and we were ready to proceed with ICSI, a type of in-vitro fertilization where a single sperm is injected into an egg. Over the next few months we had countless appointments with both Dr. Miller and the Urologist out of Northwestern. We had to wait for Joe to be at a certain level of testosterone in order to do surgery.
Fast forward a few months, and the doctor stated we were at the highest level he would ever be. It was time to start prepping me for my egg retrieval AND choose an anonymous donor sperm just in case Joe's surgery wasn't successful. Because we knew the TESE surgery was only a 50/50 shot, we had to have donor vials waiting after the retrieval. This was a huge obstacle as Joe was not sure how he felt about using donor sperm.
Over the next few weeks, I mulled through the cryobank checking for common traits and examining the donors’ health records. Finally, I found the perfect one! In April of 2013, my eggs were retrieved in Dr. Miller's office, while Joe was in the next room having TESE surgery.
After we both woke up, Dr. Miller informed us my retrieval was very successful and they retrieved 19 eggs. However, the Urologist did not have any good news. Joe had ZERO sperm, and they believed he may have been born infertile, so the donor sperm was used. Our worlds were rocked again! Days after the surgery, I ended up hyperstimulating and they had to cancel my transfer because of the swelling. However, the good news was we had 14 embryos fertilized. We were informed about the freezing process and discussed that many embryos would not mature normally to the freezing process at five days. We did and ended up with six viable embryos.
The following month, once again I was prepped for a transfer through hormones and many doctors’ appointment. Five days before my transfer I went in for the final check to start the progesterone shots. What the doctor and nurses told me was startling. My uterus was full of fluid and they had to once again cancel my transfer. Two weeks later, I went back to Dr. Miller and he did a quick procedure to ensure the septum wasn't growing back. It appeared that it was, so he once again scraped it out.
Unfortunately, this prolonged the next transfer. We had to wait until October to transfer our frozen embryos. We waited anxiously for the date, and began prep. Our transfer finally occurred on November 2, 2014. Two embryos survived the thaw and were implanted. I was over the moon!
Ten days later, I returned to the office for my pregnancy blood draw. I went to work that day like it was any other day. I knew my nurse usually called me around 1:30 pm with my results from the mornings' tests. At 1:32, my phone rang. It was my nurse and she didn't sound positive... She told me that I wasn't pregnant... I quickly gathered my belongings and called my principal to get me a substitute. Then I ran out of my building and got in my car sobbing and shaking. I called my husband and he assured me it was going to be okay. This just wasn't our time, but that time would come.
The next day, I returned to the clinic for more testing. Again, not pregnant. Joe and I met with Dr. Miller a week later to discuss the failed cycle. Without genetic testing, the most likely reason for implantation failure is a genetically abnormal embryo. We decided that we would try again. Before we did though, he wanted to check my uterus for scar tissue from the surgery. 4 weeks later and another quick procedure, we got the clearance to begin our next cycle. On February 16, 2015, Joe and I entered Dr. Miller's office. We laughed and talked to our nurses and they comforted us in the situation. And then they transferred 2 more embryos while I was put under.
The next ten days waiting to do my pregnancy bloodwork were the longest days of my life. Joe and I were building a house at the time, so we tried to keep ourselves busy. Then on February 26th, I entered the office for my bloodwork. I continued to work as always, but I asked my nurses not to call me until after school. Every five minutes though, I kept checking my phone. The dismissal bell rings at 3:15pm At 3:14, I saw my phone light up... the bell hadn't rung and my students were cleaning up and organizing to leave for the day, but I couldn't miss this call.
I picked up the phone and I heard Patty's voice. "Danielle." I quickly asked her to hold on... the bell rang, I said goodbye to my students and picked up the phone. "Danielle... you are pregnant!" I heard all the nurses on speakerphone yelling and praising our pregnancy and actually felt emotions from each and every one of them coming through the phone. I almost think there were as many tears of joy happening in Dr. Miller's office as I had spewing down my face!
Over the next two weeks, I went in multiple times to assure my hormone levels were rising, and they were. Finally two weeks after we initially found out we were pregnant, we had our first ultrasound to confirm pregnancy and how many embryos took. The ultrasound technician confirmed one embryo implanted, and then we heard the heartbeat for the first time!
Our sweet girl, Elia Meadow, was born in October of 2015, four weeks early. While she had to spend a week in the NICU at the hospital, she was perfectly healthy. We were so in love with our miracle girl.
We are forever grateful for the love and support we received from Dr. Miller and the members of his team. After so many years and tears, his team made our dream a reality. There were so many times we thought we had to give in to our dream of having children, but they kept our hopes alive. Our nurse, Patty, was an absolute dream to us. I truly feel that they are just as excited as Joe and I are to have our sweet little girl. We truly believe that without the help of Dr. Miller and all his staff, we would not have our miracle baby in our arms.
Keep hope in your journey, as Dr. Miller and his team did for us. You too, can share your story one day and give hope to those who are facing infertility struggles. Thank you Dr. Miller, Patty, our nurses, and all of the staff. You have made our dreams come true with our sweet girl!
-Danielle
