Abdominal Cerclage and IVF: How We Overcame Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
Amanda and Paul’s journey to parenthood was anything but simple. In this blog post, Amanda shares her six-year journey through IVF, pregnancy loss, abdominal cerclage and finally, the joy of welcoming her son Dimitri.
Our Dream of Starting a Family
My husband, Paul, and I always knew we wanted kids. We always talked about having two but were open to the idea of three. I never suspected anything was wrong because my cycles were pretty regular, and I had no signs or symptoms of any issues.
We got married in the summer of 2018 and were anxious to start trying. After several months of negative tests, I talked to my OBGYN, and he put me on Clomid. I took Clomid for about six months, and after that didn’t work, we started to explore other options and began working with a fertility clinic. We started the IVF process in November 2019 and finally had our first retrieval in March 2020. When the lockdown mandate was ordered, we were too far into the cycle to cancel, so we were able to proceed with the retrieval.
By the fall of 2020, we were ready for our first transfer. It worked—or so we thought. The embryo stopped growing and resulted in a loss. We decided to move forward with another transfer toward the end of 2020. That one also worked, and I was released from my IVF clinic at six weeks. A few weeks later, I went in for an ultrasound and was told there was no longer a heartbeat. Because we were still in the midst of COVID, I was alone. The ultrasound tech was the only person in the room. She was so kind—she hugged me and cried with me. It was something I’ll never forget. I had my first D&C right before Christmas.
Finding Dr. Miller and a New Plan
After talking to a friend who was already with Dr. Miller, she recommended that I switch doctors. The one I was with didn’t want to change anything in my protocol, and it was time for a change. We started the process of switching over to Dr. Miller and moved our remaining embryos. I had a phone consultation with him in early 2021, and we began the necessary genetic testing for both my husband and me. Everything came back completely normal, so we were still at a loss as to why we couldn’t get pregnant.
We had our first transfer with Dr. Miller at the end of July 2021. We got pregnant! Everything looked good—until it didn’t. This pregnancy also ended in a loss and required another surgery. We had another consultation with Dr. Miller, and he suggested a trial cycle. We started it and had to push the transfer date back one day. I also had some inflammation due to endometriosis. Around that time, Dr. Miller spoke to Dr. Jubiz, who suggested I have an endometrial scratch before the next transfer.
An endometrial scratch is created when a small catheter is inserted into the uterus, then moved back and forth and rotated in order to cause some disruption to the uterine lining. It may be helpful in women with recurrent implantation failure by increasing endometrial receptivity. Once I got the all-clear from Dr. Miller, we prepped for the next transfer. I had the endometrial scratch in the cycle prior, and the transfer was done on April 29, 2022.
This transfer would prove to be both the most successful and the most gut-wrenching. After all the surgeries, retrievals, and losses, I wasn’t hopeful. My husband remained positive and supportive—my rock. I tried to stay open-minded, but after almost two years of heartbreak, I was losing hope. To my surprise, this transfer worked! My beta numbers were the highest they’d ever been, and we made it to another OB ultrasound. Our baby boy was growing and developing perfectly! It was surreal to finally start believing I was truly pregnant. We relaxed a little and began dreaming of the day we’d bring our baby home.
Everything was going perfectly. We finally got to announce our pregnancy on July 20, 2022—our fourth wedding anniversary. He was healthy and growing beautifully. Then my husband and I both got COVID.
We scheduled our gender reveal for August 6, 2022. It was hot, and our cake melted—but it was a perfect day. Our family found out we were having a boy. We had known from genetic testing, but we still wanted to share the moment with them.
A few days later, I noticed more discharge than normal. Research suggested it was fine, so I didn’t worry. But on August 13th, I went to the bathroom, pushed, and heard a loud pop. It sounded like a gasket breaking. I checked but saw nothing unusual. Later, as I turned on the couch, I felt a gush of liquid. I ran to the kitchen, and it was pouring out of me. I called my husband—he was in disbelief. I called my OBGYN, who suggested I lie down and elevate my feet since I wasn’t bleeding. Moments after I hung up, I started gushing blood. I got into the bathtub, and my husband rushed home. We went to the ER.
After hours of waiting, we were told my water had broken. While the baby still had a heartbeat, he wouldn’t survive. I was 18 weeks pregnant. We were given the option to go to a hospital equipped for babies born at 18 weeks, but the outcome would be the same. We went home, and I prayed harder than I ever had that he would make it to 22 weeks. I played lullabies and told him I loved him.
The next day, I began cramping. We rushed to the hospital. Everything escalated quickly. Our son was born sleeping about 45 minutes after we arrived. It was the hardest moment of my life. The hospital staff gave us as much time as we needed with him before saying goodbye.
Discovering the Need for an Abdominal Cerclage
When we were ready, I called Dr. Miller to get back on the schedule. About a month later, we created a new plan. Dr. Miller was kind and compassionate. I asked him not to give up on us, and he promised he wouldn’t. We also met with a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor and discussed a cerclage This is a small stitch to close the cervix. Initially, I thought a vaginal cerclage was best, but Dr. Miller strongly recommended an abdominal cerclage.
An abdominal cerclage is a surgical procedure where a strong stitch is placed around the cervix through the abdomen to help keep it closed during pregnancy. It’s most often recommended for women with cervical insufficiency, a condition where the cervix opens too early, which can cause pregnancy loss or preterm birth. By reinforcing the cervix, the cerclage gives the pregnancy a better chance to continue safely.
When an abdominal cerclage is placed prior to pregnancy, it avoids the risks associated with a vaginal cerclage, such as infection or an inability to place the cerclage due to cervical thinning. It has a success rate of about 98%. Paul and I knew this was the right choice. We had it placed in early 2023.
We did another endometrial scratch, this time two cycles before the next transfer. That transfer didn’t take. I started spiraling, truly believing I might never be pregnant again.
Hope After Heartache: A Successful Transfer
We still had four embryos left. We proceeded with another scratch the month before our next transfer in August 2023. I wasn’t hopeful. But we were pregnant again. Instead of joy, I felt dread. Our first beta was decent, not great, but it continued to rise. We made it to another OB ultrasound at the Naperville office. I couldn’t bring myself to get excited. My heart was guarded. I told myself that if we lost this one, at least I wouldn’t be attached.
But another week passed, and the baby was thriving—already a day ahead in growth. The heartbeat was strong. We graduated and saw my OBGYN that same week. We agreed I’d see him or the MFM every other week to ease my anxiety. At 18 weeks, the anxiety was intense, but thankfully, I had an appointment. Our son was growing, moving, and the cerclage was holding strong. We passed 18 weeks, then 20 weeks, then reached viability. I felt a wave of relief. Before I knew it, it was time for my baby shower. I was 37 weeks—the cerclage had done its job.
Because I have an abdominal cerclage, I could only deliver via C-section unless it was removed. To protect the stitch, my OBGYN scheduled a C-section at exactly 38 weeks: May 1st.
But our son had other plans.
Welcoming Our Rainbow Baby
On Sunday, April 28, 2024, after dinner, I started having contractions. After about 12 in an hour, I called my doctor. He said, “That’s it—we’re having a baby.”
Our beautiful baby boy, Demetrios Bartho, was born at 37 weeks and 5 days, weighing 9 lbs 1 oz and measuring 22 inches long, on April 29, 2024, at 4:38 a.m. What we had prayed for and hoped for over nearly six years was finally a reality. He was—and is—absolutely perfect.
We recently celebrated his first birthday and are now beginning a sibling cycle.
A Message to Others Facing Loss
Without Dr. Miller’s knowledge, persistence, and innovative care, we probably would not have our beautiful son today. If you’ve experienced loss due to an incompetent cervix, I highly recommend finding a qualified doctor capable of placing an abdominal cerclage. It was—and is—a life saver.
We will be forever grateful to Dr. Miller and his staff, my OBGYN Dr. Tom Kazmierczak, and the MFM doctors at Duly.
-Paul, Amanda, and Demetrios (Dimitri)
Patient Story- Kasi: Endometriosis, Infertility and the Path to Motherhood
As Endometriosis Awareness Month comes to a close, we wanted to share Kasi’s journey. It’s one of strength, resilience and hope. Kasi endured years of pain from endometriosis, multiple surgeries and several IVF cycles. Through every challenge, she never gave up on her dream of becoming a mother. Today she holds that dream in her arms- her beautiful son, Koah.
He has brown russet-colored eyes that are full of depth. They sparkle when he laughs and when he looks at me. He has his father’s hair and my jawline. His latte-colored skin comes straight from me. He is the light of my life and for many dark years, I wondered if he’d ever be here.
Years of Pain Without Answers
I had a plan for my life as many women do. The plan was to finish graduate school, get married, buy a house, and then start a family. My early twenties had their own hardships that centered around midterms and quarter-life crises. I also had unusually painful periods that most doctors dismissed with instructions to start taking ibuprofen a couple days before my period would start. But the pain would still leave me curled in a ball in the middle of my bed every few months. A doctor at the health services recommended taking birth control pills to help regulate my periods and reduce the pain. It worked for several years. When my husband and I turned 30 years old, we decided that we wanted to start our family. That required me to stop taking the birth control pills and to begin planning the next part of our lives. We planned on 2 or 3 children. We talked about the types of parents we would be, and we made plans around their impending arrival. But the arrival seemed stalled.
The pain was back. Sometimes it would be debilitating, and it would cause me to miss work. I was also having digestive issues that would cause chronic constipation and discomfort. I started a new job that could be stressful, so I thought it was all stress related. In the winter of 2012, the holidays were rough. After Christmas, I found myself in significant pain. I recently switched doctors and decided to see my new doctor to find out what was going on.
The Diagnosis That Changed Everything
Dr. Melissa Kwak was the first doctor who listened to me when I told her about all the pain I was having. She ordered an MRI that started me on my journey. The MRI found a fibroid the size of a grapefruit on my uterus. She sent me for further testing with Dr. Brett Cassidy and he recommended that I have surgery to have the fibroid removed in February 2013. I was 32 years old. I remember feeling so frustrated that my body could betray me in that way. I know the depth of the betrayal.
The surgery was meant to be laparoscopic. They explained that I would have tiny keyhole incisions made in my abdomen and another in my belly button so that the machine could excise the fibroid without them having to open me up with a lateral incision. They expected everything to go easily and after recovery, we could begin trying to have a baby again. When I woke up from anesthesia, I was in overwhelming pain. I began screaming and the nurses rushed to me. I heard one say, “We need to manage her pain!” I knew immediately that something went wrong. I kept asking over and over what happened, but no one answered me.
“You have endometriosis,” my doctor later explained to me. They had to abandon the laparoscopic surgery as soon as they could see what they were dealing with. They had to open me up laterally (like a c-section). I had adhesions all over and this was the reason for my extreme pain during menstruation. With endometriosis, endometrial tissue is found in other areas of the pelvis. When the body menstruates, the tissue in these other areas, outside the uterus, bleed as well. The body treats these areas as internal bleeding and rushes to heal it and create scar tissue around it. These are called adhesions. My doctor was able to save my reproductive system and remove the adhesions. He gave us the green light to begin trying to have a baby again. He explained that being on birth control was unknowingly treating the endometriosis. But to start our family, I could not take medication for the condition. The instructions were to get pregnant fast since there was no cure for endometriosis and the adhesions can return. We were optimistic, but another year passed without a baby.
IVF and the Emotional Toll of Infertility
We realized that it was time to talk to a fertility specialist to assist us. Dr. Cassidy recommended that we see Dr. Charles Miller in Naperville, IL to assist us. However, our insurance didn’t cover Dr. Miler. So, in 2014 we began working with another fertility clinic. The doctor with this center, decided quickly that IVF would be the best option. We were 33 years old, so the odds were in our favor.
At this clinic, we ran into more complications. They had trouble with egg retrieval. They sent me back to Dr. Cassidy for another laparoscopic surgery to remove more endometrial adhesions. We finally got 10 embryos but only 4 survived. They transferred 2 embryos in December 2014. We would have to wait 2 weeks to find out if the embryos took and if we were going to be parents. During that 2-week wait, my father-in-law passed away from heart disease and we were mourning. I look back on that period with a lot of pain. I often wonder if the grief and the negative emotions I felt made my body inhospitable for those little babies. We found out that the embryos didn’t take a couple days before the funeral, so we grieved my husband’s father, and the loss of the embryos. I fell into a mild depression after that. I admitted this to my doctor, and she suggested that I begin seeing a therapist. I was dealing with a lot of guilt and grief over my father-in-law passing. I felt like I was selfish in his last days because I was so focused on the embryo transfer, but I also felt that I was a terrible mother to those embryos because I did not provide a positive environment where they could grow.
Infertility can be a lonely thing. Even though I was surrounded by doctors and nurses and friends and family who encouraged me, I still felt alone. I felt profound shame and inadequacy. I didn’t think that I was worthy to be a mother and maybe somehow God had ordained it to be this way. I received confirmation of my own perceived condemnation when a second embryo transfer did not yield a pregnancy. I needed time off. For a year, I didn’t want to think about fertility or trying to have a baby. But during this time off, the endometriosis did not leave me. The pain became severe again and I knew that I’d need to address it and decide if we’d want to try to be parents again. Through this time, we switched to a new insurance. I went to see Dr. Cassidy to ask about another surgery for the endometriosis. He asked us again if we thought about Dr. Charles Miller. He said he was one of the leading specialists in the area for endometriosis and he could do the surgery. We investigated our insurance coverage, and we were happy to find that Dr. Miller was covered.
Finding the Right Specialist
When we first met with Dr. Charles Miller, it was on a Sunday. He was dressed in a beautiful suit. He looked outstanding. He immediately helped us feel at ease. He tailored the treatment plan to me and my unique circumstances. That was refreshing, because our last doctor wanted to use the same protocol with me that she used for every woman she treated, regardless of the diagnosis. We were 35 years old and desperate to make things work. The fertility world talks about age 35 as the gateway into geriatric pregnancy. The percentages of successful live births begin to go down at this point and risks of birth defects and other issues increase. We were anxious to get started. I had 4 or 5 surgeries, numerous egg retrievals and 3 embryo transfers with Dr. Miller. I remember, after a disappointing cycle, we sat in Dr. Miller’s office with him. He was quiet after explaining what happened and we were quiet. I remember asking him not to give up on me. I remember he took my hand and told me that he was willing to fight along with us for as long as we were willing to fight.
In January 2020, I needed another surgery for endometriosis. I was 39 years old and desperate to try again before I turned 40. We had one frozen embryo left from the previous cycle. The plan was to have the surgery, do a few more egg retrievals so we could transfer more than one embryo. The odds are always better when you have more than one embryo to transfer. By the summer of 2020 I went for tests, that showed that I wasn’t ovulating after the last surgery and there wasn’t much hope of getting more embryos. Dr. Miller talked to us about donor eggs, but my husband and I didn’t want to give up on the dream of having a child that was a little bit of both of us. So, we decided to transfer the one embryo we had. We decided we were done with the whole IVF process. We started looking into foster care and adoption. It took another 6 months to get insurance and all other circumstances to line up.
One Last Chance at Motherhood
In February 2021, a few months after I turned 40-years-old, I came into the office to transfer the last embryo we had frozen. We were in the thick of COVID protocols so my husband couldn’t come in with me. When the doctor came in, I tearfully told him about the amazing impact he had on my life. I told him that no matter the outcome, I was just so grateful that I had the opportunity to reach for my dream when so many other women didn’t even get the chance to try. We both cried and he told me that he had a great feeling about that transfer. I had a sense of peace after that last cycle. In the past I did acupuncture after the embryo transfers to increase the odds of the embryo taking. But this last time, we chose to go to my father’s house and pray. My husband, my father, and I joined hands and prayed the most beautiful prayer about gratitude and joy regardless of the outcome.
The Call That Changed Everything
On the morning of my blood test after the 2-week-wait, I felt hopeful and peaceful. I knew this was going to be my last time going through the process and maybe knowing this gave me peace that day. Normally, the results of the pregnancy tests came to us on a portal app on my cell phone. I thought that I wouldn’t hear anything until the afternoon. During my morning break from work, I decided to lay down and take a nap. Before I could fall asleep, my phone started ringing and it was Dr. Miller’s office. They never called before on pregnancy test day, so my heart was in my throat when I answered the phone. The nurses in the office had me on speaker phone. The phlebotomist, the ultrasound tech, and two of the nurses were gathered around the phone. They asked me if I was sitting down. When I told them I was, one of the girls screamed, “You’re pregnant!” I immediately fell on my knees. I cried on the phone with them for what felt like an hour. I could hear a few ladies crying with me and I heard them yelling “Congratulations!’ I couldn’t even speak. It was 10 years of waiting. 10 years of crying. 10 years of wondering what I had done wrong, 10 years of disappointments. The emotion that flowed through my body in that moment was pure joy.
A Dream Come True
My pregnancy went forward without any complications. We were blessed because I was healthy, and the baby was healthy. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Koah. I am certain that I just gazed at him for hours. I still love to look at him. We had waited so long for him, and he had waited for us as a frozen embryo. He was the very last to be transferred, but he was destined to make it into our arms. Koah is our only child, but our hearts remain open and excited about this beautiful life we will have with our son. I knew from the moment that my pregnancy was confirmed that I would share this story. I knew that I wanted to encourage other women who feel isolated while going through this journey. I persevered and I was able to experience the miracle of feeling a life growing inside me. I can watch him grow as a walking and breathing testament to my own strength and endurance. The journey taught me to feel worthy regardless of the outcome and I am looking forward to helping other women feel empowered and strong.
-Kasi
Patient Story- Kayla
For many couples, the dream of starting a family is filled with excitement and anticipation. But for Kayla and her husband, that dream turned into a struggle with infertility. Just when they thought they had reached the end of the road, a second opinion with Dr. Miller changed everything. This is their story and the journey to two little boys that made it all worth it.
Like most couples, we dreamt of starting a family filled with laughter, love and the pitter-patter of little feet. However, as months turned into years, that dream seemed to drift further and further from our grasp. What began as hopeful anticipation soon gave way to the harsh reality of infertility. Month after month, we watched as the lines on pregnancy tests remained stubbornly blank, each negative result a painful reminder of our unfulfilled longing. Faced with the heartbreaking prospect of infertility, we embarked on the difficult journey of fertility treatments.
With our hearts full of hope, we began our fertility journey. We spent a year at our initial fertility clinic before finding Dr. Miller. Within that first year, we underwent numerous tests yielding frustratingly normal results and a series of treatments that encompassed Clomid, IUI and eventually IVF. Our first IVF round yielded 11 embryos. With eager anticipation, we underwent a fresh transfer and subsequent frozen transfers, clinging to the belief that each embryo held the key to our future family. However, amidst our prayers and unwavering determination, we encountered the bitter sting of disappointment in the form of only one chemical pregnancy.
Despite our best efforts, the road to parenthood seemed full of overwhelming obstacles. Faced with the crushing blow of yet another failed attempt, our doctor delivered the devastating news that there was nothing more he could do for us. With our hearts shattered, we made the decision to seek a second opinion.
When we first met Dr. Miller, we felt defeated and hopeless. However, we were determined to leave no stone unturned before exploring other alternatives. Seeking a second opinion turned out to be a pivotal moment in our journey to parenthood, leading us to the greatest gifts of our lives. Through three rounds of IVF under Dr. Miller’s guidance, we experienced a rollercoaster of emotions, each cycle marked by its own unique challenges and triumphs.
In our first round, despite our renewed hope, we faced yet another heart-wrenching setback with another chemical pregnancy.
After years of tirelessly chasing the elusive dream of parenthood, we found ourselves on the brink of surrender. We had spent years going through countless treatments and tests to only find ourselves right back where we started on our journey to parenthood. Despite the pain and disappointment, we made the courageous decision to give it one last chance.
Our second round of IVF with Dr. Miller was a life changing moment in our journey, etched in our hearts as a turning point that brought light to the darkest days. We were initially filled with hope as 12 embryos seemed to be thriving. However, the day of our fresh transfer, our hopes were crushed when we learned that only one embryo had survived. Little did we know, that single embryo would become our greatest blessing, our precious son Theodore.
We became pregnant in January 2020, just before the world was engulfed by the chaos of the Covid-19 pandemic. We felt extraordinarily blessed. In a time of uncertainty and fear, our joy was immeasurable as we welcomed the news of our pregnancy. It was a reminder that amidst the darkness, miracles still happen, filling our hearts with hope and gratitude for the precious gift of new life.
After experiencing the immense joy of welcoming our first son into the world, we knew in our hearts that we wanted to expand our family and give him a sibling. Returning to Dr. Miller, we embarked on another round of IVF. Starting from scratch without any frozen embryos. This time, our efforts blessed us with eight precious embryos, one of which would become our beloved son, Cameron.
Our journey to parenthood was marked by highs and lows, hope and heartbreak, yet it led us to the most precious gift of all- our two sons. Their arrivals into our lives was nothing short of miraculous. Despite the challenges we faced along the way, we are forever grateful for modern medicine and our doctors, nurses and countless others who played a role in making our dreams a reality. They have given us the greatest gifts of all time, and for that, we will be eternally grateful.
-Kayla
May 10 is Dr. Miller Day!
Did you know May 10th is Dr. Miller Day? Neither did we, until our patient, Jamie, shared that she created this special day to remember her fertility journey, the support she received from her “village” and of course the doctor who helped her become a mom!
Jamie writes:
Our fertility journey started as most do, with a lot of hope and a lot of disappointing negative pregnancy tests. During my initial testing, I found out I had 2 fibroids and one was very large. Although I kept asking about the large one, I was told by 3 different doctors that they weren’t an issue and was encouraged to start IUI or IVF.
Although reluctant, we started planning on how and when to move forward. Through that process, we started applying for grants. While looking at the grant application, I started reading into how it would be scored. In the fine print, I noticed certain types of fibroids would disqualify us from the grant, and that is because they can make IVF less successful. This made me, once again, question my fibroid. I told my husband that I wanted to find an expert opinion to rule out the fibroid causing my fertility issues before beginning any treatment. I started to research fibroid experts, and one name kept coming up again and again in my search, Dr. Charles Miller.
In April 2022, during my consultation with Dr. Miller, I expected to hear, once again, that the fibroid was “fine.” Dr. Miller recommended surgery, and on May 10th, 2022 he successfully removed both fibroids. We spent the next few months healing, trying to enjoy life, appreciating what we have, and planning our next steps to bring home a baby of our own.
In August 2022, I returned to Dr. Miller’s office, and he told me that things healed well and we could start trying again. During that same month, I was on pins and needles hoping to hear that we got the IVF cycle grant. However, less than three weeks after my follow-up visit with Dr. Miller, our jaws dropped when we got our positive pregnancy test! It was clear that the fibroid was what had been causing my infertility, and if we hadn’t done our research and sought out Dr. Miller’s expertise, we would have spent thousands on IVF without any success.
On April 17, 2023 our miracle baby girl, Fontana, was delivered via c-section. We cannot thank Dr. Miller enough for taking his time to listen to our concerns, truly evaluating the fibroid and its impact, and for his flawless surgery. Without Dr. Miller, we wouldn’t have had a first birthday to celebrate last month.
This Friday we will celebrate our second Dr. Miller Day. This year we took the time to reflect and appreciate those who were a part of our village by writing cards to family, friends, and those strangers who supported us during our darkest days of infertility. Each person is represented by a house, and when we put them all together, it was empowering to see just how many people helped us along the way. No two infertility journeys are the same, but for those still in the trenches, trust your gut and advocate for yourself.
Patient Story- Lauren
“Now, I look at my daughter and have to pinch myself. I can’t believe she’s here!”
We know the holidays can be a challenging time for many of our patients. However, today we want to share Lauren’s story with you. This time last year, Lauren wondered if she would ever become a mother. Today, she has a beautiful baby girl. Unhappy with her previous clinic, Lauren came to Dr. Miller. He listened to her concerns and together they came up with a treatment plan. Another example of how important it is to advocate for yourself when it comes to your health.
Lauren writes:
My story is one of finding hope with Dr. Miller and with the wonderful staff at the Advanced IVF Institute. My husband and I had been through a lot by the time I made a teary phone call to the receptionist (or angel?) at Dr. Miller’s office. We had been years-long patients elsewhere, and had experienced four failed IUIs and two rounds of IVF yielding only one embryo and subsequent miscarriage. We were tired, sad, and wondering if becoming parents was achievable. Our previous doctor told us we would be “lucky” to end up with one child, and suggested egg donation. After researching different fertility specialists online and comparing SART statistics, I knew Dr. Miller would be the best choice for us.
When we met with Dr. Miller, he had a thorough knowledge of our history, a plan, and compassion for what we had been through. I have PCOS and thyroid disease and felt that my previous clinic did not take this into account when creating my treatment plan.
Dr. Miller took my concerns seriously and addressed them. I had concerns about insulin resistance, he investigated it and treated it. I had concerns that my previous clinic did not take my thyroid disease seriously enough and allow for appropriate monitoring, he agreed and made sure my levels were optimal before proceeding. My husband was concerned about his inconsistent fertility testing, Dr. Miller confirmed that we were dealing with an element of male factor infertility.
After our first meeting, I distinctly remember him saying, “I might not get it the first time around, but I’m confident we will get you on the right treatment plan.” Well, he did get it the first time around. Imagine our surprise and delight when on our first round with Dr. Miller we ended up with five beautiful embryos, and a pregnancy on our first transfer. He and his staff celebrated with me each week when things were going well in my early pregnancy, and by the time I “graduated” these people felt like family.
Today, we have a beautiful baby. When recovering in the hospital, my husband asked me if I thought Dr. Miller knew how much he changed our lives. When we had no hope left, he gave us everything. I think about this time last year, and not in my wildest dreams did I think I would be where I am today. I spent six years of Christmases thinking “Next year will be my year.” Now, I look at my daughter and have to pinch myself. I can’t believe she’s here!
My advice to those going through this is to live while you’re waiting. It’s tempting to throw everything you have into the process when you’re going through it. One month off from treatment to take a vacation or celebrate something special is good for your mind and body- don’t forget to nurture yourself.
Patient Story- Sheri
“We have been very blessed with great kids who seem to appreciate life, maybe because somehow, subconsciously they know that it took that extra little miracle to be here.”
Up until now, our patient stories have featured women who have recently become mothers. However, today’s submission is from Sheri, who first became a patient 20 years ago! Technology has advanced over the years, but the overarching message from Dr. Miller remains the same: “trust the process.”
My story begins many years ago (my two miracle babies are now 19 and 16)!
After years of trying to conceive, being on countless fertility drugs, endless testing and 5 years of monthly disappointing moments we decided it was time to take the next infertility step and meet Dr. Miller. My husband and I immediately felt confident he was the answer to our unexplained infertility. We left with a sense of relief. He looked us right in the eye and said “trust the process.” It was Dr. Miller’s confidence and stellar reputation that made us say “When can we start!”
The process, although long and hard at times was, by far, made less grueling and easier to face because of Dr. Miller and his staff. Every single person we encountered was kind, sympathetic, positive, caring and made us feel like they were our “infertility family”. There was one person in particular who will always stand out and be a part of my heart and that was Lynne who was at the front desk. Her smile when I walked in put me at ease instantly.
Infertility is praying endlessly. It’s sad, depressing, hard, lonely and you shed many tears. There are many roadblocks and setbacks but this journey with Dr. Miller was worth every single minute.
We were very fortunate that our first round of IVF gave us our son and our second round gave us our daughter.
Both of those IVF cycles began as multiple pregnancies but by some miracle our son and our daughter held on when we experienced vanishing embryos. It was terrifying to think we were losing the babies. I remember the moment when we thought we were miscarrying. Dr. Miller was in Europe and he called personally to ease our fears and tell me what to do to give the other baby the best chance. Grief hit hard knowing our multiples were now single pregnancies. I still think of what would have been had that not happened but take a moment to remember them and even though we never met them we love them always for what little time they were ours.
A year after our daughter was born we kept trying for more children without success. Time was not on my side because of my age. Dr. Miller saw me struggling mentally and finally gave me the strength to walk away and enjoy the 2 miracles we were blessed with.
Our son, Nick, is now 19 and studying engineering at Purdue and our daughter, Emily, is 16 and thriving in high school. Every moment of their lives has been better than the next. We have been very blessed with great kids who seem to appreciate life, maybe because somehow, subconsciously they know that it took that extra little miracle to be here.
To all the patients present and future…I pray for you, I wish you peace always and I hope your dreams come true. You deserve to be parents!
Patient Story- Breda
“Not everyone will understand IVF or be able to relate, so it’s important to surround yourself with support. More people than you realize struggle with infertility.”
Today’s patient story is from Breda. After not finding success or feeling comfortable at another fertility clinic, Breda came to us. We are all glad she did! Dr. Miller was able to diagnose her with endometriosis and after surgery and IVF, she was able to get pregnant. Breda is due in January!
Breda writes:
I met my husband later in life and we got married when I was 38. I was and still am wary of the stigma of older mothers, even though being older is accepted. I’ve always wanted a family and we started trying right away, but I had three miscarriages in a year and a half. I was at a different fertility clinic for a year, but didn’t feel comfortable there. My husband’s colleague recommended we see Dr. Miller and what a difference!
We first met online during COVID and Dr. Miller told us, “You’ll be a mother, kiddo.” He was so kind, didn’t rush us, and he explained everything. He learned I was an English teacher and told me a story that put me at ease. He never stopped his storytelling, and I welcomed his personable demeanor after some bad experiences at the previous clinic. Dr. Miller found issues that the previous doctor did not, including endometriosis.
After a biopsy, Dr. Miller found abnormalities in my uterus and I was diagnosed with Level 1 endometriosis. During surgery, he removed five spots on my uterus. I also had the Endometrial Receptivity Assay biopsy to determine the receptivity of the uterus to implantation. Soon after, we had an egg retrieval and two transfers.
Throughout this process, Dr. Miller and his staff explained everything so thoroughly and never seemed irritated or disinterested when I had questions. I also got to know Dr. Miller and the nurses because they talked to me during appointments. I always felt people cared and were invested in our success. I felt so secure going into our procedures and never felt anxiety or stress visiting the office.
Even though our first transfer failed, a second embryo implanted and I will never forget that experience. Dr. Miller, Courtney, and Melody were present for the transfer, and made me feel so comfortable. Dr. Miller even told us a funny story about meeting an actor from Will & Grace. While we waited after the transfer, my husband and I held hands and prayed, and we also talked about how wonderful it would be if it worked. Many times, we dreamed of finishing our nursery and being able to move forward with our plan. The transfer worked, and our baby is due January 8, 3.5 years after we began IVF and what seems like a million doctor appointments.
I was very nervous the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy and braced myself for bad news, but at every ultrasound Courtney reassured me with her positivity. We are so grateful for everyone at the Naperville office.
It took until I was about 20 weeks pregnant for me to relax and realize we’re finally going to be parents! I’ve cried many happy tears for a change! Not everyone will understand IVF or be able to relate, so it’s important to surround yourself with support. More people than you realize struggle with infertility. Meditation and journaling are helpful (as well as long walks with our dog, my first baby). Finally, never stop hoping and praying, even if you’re an older mother!
Patient Story- Molly
“We have been so blessed that I know all the pain and suffering we endured was worth it.”
We’re featuring Molly’s story today! Molly’s story is unique because she was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. This is a tricky diagnosis, because even after testing a cause cannot be determined. When this is the case, there is a lot of trial and error in order to achieve pregnancy. But as Dr. Miller always says: “Trust the process.” That’s just what Molly did and now she has two beautiful sons. Read her story below.
I first became a patient of Dr. Miller’s in 2012 when I had a myomectomy, a surgical procedure to remove uterine fibroids. After getting married and trying for several months to get pregnant, a co-worker suggested I see Dr. Miller, but this time as a fertility specialist. At our first appointment, Dr. Miller ordered blood work and a hysterosonogram which is an ultrasound exam that provides images of the inside of the uterus to help diagnose the cause of abnormal vaginal bleeding. However, everything came back fine. I was told I had unexplained fertility. This wasn’t the news I wanted to hear! It would have been easier to have a specific reason for why I could not get pregnant.
I was put on medication for thyroid and prolactin issues. After a month on the medication, it was advised we try an IUI. We failed all three attempts. Dr. Miller said IVF would need to be our next step. Soon after, my retrieval resulted in 26 eggs! My husband and I were so excited, our dream of having a baby was one step closer.
However, we were unable to do a fresh transfer at that time because I was borderline for Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). This occurs when a woman’s ovaries swell and leak fluid into the body. This condition is temporary and occurs in less than 5% of women who receive fertility treatments. Instead, we ended up freezing 8 embryos. About two months later one embryo was successfully transferred. It was a strange feeling, because I was so happy and terrified at the same time.
After graduating from Dr. Miller’s office, my OB/GYN monitored me closely and that little embryo was born at 34 weeks gestation. Again, I was happy and terrified at the same time. Thankfully our little boy was healthy and strong.
After our son turned 18 months, we decided to start the process to have another child. We decided to follow the same protocol as before and do a transfer in three months. Unfortunately, it failed. After meeting with Dr. Miller again, he advised us to do a trial cycle with an Endometrial Biopsy (EMB). An EMB tests whether the uterine lining is preparing itself adequately for implantation of the embryo. If the lining is out of phase, it can prevent implantation from occurring or result in an early miscarriage. Because the results of my EMB were abnormal, I was treated with progesterone. The following month we had another transfer and it was successful! We welcomed our second baby boy this June./p>
Our two little boys are thriving! We are so happy we found Dr. Miller and are so grateful for everyone in the office as well as Dr. Deutch who did our last transfer. Our advice to other couples going through infertility is to know that you are strong, brave and deserve to be parents. Don’t ever give up! We have been so blessed that I know all the pain and suffering we endured was worth it.
Patient Story- Julia
“This is why you keep fighting; so that you can have peace. Whatever outcome will bring you peace, that is what you fight for.”
Julia is a patient that our office has known for quite some time. She recently welcomed her third baby boy and we have enjoyed getting updates and pictures throughout the years. A seasoned IVF veteran, Julia has been through it all and yet she is incredibly candid about her experience. This openness has led her to volunteer to answer calls for the Resolve support line twice a month. While there aren’t many calls, she is so grateful when she gets to speak to someone and give them some hope. We are so grateful that Julia has shared her story.
She writes:
The other day, I took my two older boys to the fire station open house. It was absolutely packed, it seemed like everyone from our town was there. I looked around at all of the children, moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, etc. and had a moment of self-doubt.
“I don’t belong here,” I thought to myself. “This event is for families.”
As if on cue, my middle son reached up to hold my hand, and my older son ran ahead and called out for me. “MOM! This way, follow me!”
I was instantly brought back to reality, my feelings of insecurity disappearing and belonging restored. I am a mom (of three boys!), and I DO belong at family events, school drop-off, parent-tot classes, parks and baby pools, and in the club that is Parenthood.
The lingering grief and pain of infertility can rear its ugly head at the strangest moments, like it did that Saturday morning. I remember the feeling of fear so well; the fear that I would never become a mom. I know all too well how painful the treatments and the unknowns are as I fought long and hard for my boys. However, I also know the peace that comes from a dream achieved. I want to instill hope in anyone who has that fear and pain, who is in the throes of fertility treatment, who is struggling with self-doubt and the unknown.
I have three beautiful and healthy boys. They are almost perfectly spaced apart; 2.5 years. From the outside looking in, we are a very typical family. And in most senses, that is correct – except for how our family was created.
We waited four years for our first son. I worked for one year with my ob-gyn and Clomid. I then had six stimulated rounds with my first fertility specialist and one miscarriage. When I met Dr. Miller, I had two more failed IVF rounds before we chose to use a donor egg. I had a polyp removal surgery. I did three trial cycles to determine the optimal window for an embryo transfer. We lost our first donor due to poor response to stimulation while I was on hormones alongside her. With our second donor, my first transfer was a blighted ovum that ended in two separate D&C surgeries. After extensive blood work, I was diagnosed with MTHFR, a genetic blood-clotting disorder that can affect implantation.
On November 9, 2016, my 13th cycle, I became pregnant with my first son.
Charlie was cycle 13. James was cycle 15. John was cycle 16.
I share the details of my journey not to overwhelm you, but to give you strength. Maybe your journey will be shorter than mine. Maybe it will be longer. It often felt daunting, hopeless at times, and never-ending. I remember the receptionist at Dr. Miller’s office pulled out my file. It looked like several copies of the Yellow Pages stacked on top of each other. During one of my meetings with Dr. Miller, he put his hand on top of that file and said, “Julia. We haven’t been through this much, for you to not get pregnant. I WILL get you pregnant.” I trusted him and pushed forward despite the fear and pain.
This is why you keep fighting; so that you can have peace. Whatever outcome will bring you peace, that is what you fight for. And you will know when that time comes. People ask me how I did it. They want to know how I managed the appointments and driving, the shots and tests, the physical side effects and emotional trauma, the disappointment and the grief.
I tell them the truth; you just do it. You have to keep going so that you can have your peace.
I promise that the grief and fear will fade with time. It might make an appearance here and there after you have achieved your dream, but that is just a little bit of PTSD from the journey. It will fade. You will hold your little miracle, you will walk with your child at the fire station open house, or into that parent-tot gym class, or to the first day of preschool, or story hour at the library and you will belong. You will feel peace.
Believe in Dr. Miller. Believe in his nurses, the ultrasound techs, the phlebotomist, his entire staff. Throw in some prayers, push forward, and wait for your time to come.
Patient Story- Rachael
“Our plan was always to have a baby, but our path certainly wasn’t a straight line.”
Our next patient story is from Rachael. Rachael’s journey to motherhood has not been an easy one. After undergoing several unsuccessful rounds of IVF, Dr. Miller advised Rachel to consider using an egg donor. In her story, Rachel describes the process she and her husband went through to choose an egg donor and what advice they would give to others in her situation. Rachael’s story has a happy ending- she is now pregnant and due with a baby boy in February!
Rachael writes:
To say that our journey was a difficult one is an understatement.
I was 34 years old when we wanted to start our family. After six months of trying on our own, we met with Dr. Miller. Testing and medication followed, and we eventually discovered – after finding out I had a diminished ovarian reserve, as well as confirming that I had a unicornuate uterus – that IVF was a route we needed to take. We diligently went to work ordering medication, setting up appointments, and saying so many prayers. Unfortunately, our first round failed. We just kept thinking, “This is it!” only to find ourselves back at square one.
When I met with Dr. Miller for our follow-up consult, he had another plan to try again. Upon leaving our meeting, he told me, “Stick with me, Rach! Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Knowing this was true, and knowing we had faith in our doctor, we trudged ahead and kept going. What followed were an additional five rounds (some stopped before retrieval), further testing and added medication, laparoscopic surgery, and the need to put on more weight in hopes that it would help my egg quality.
After several additional rounds of IVF and additional embryos from said rounds that didn’t take, our insurance plan was running out of options for us to keep moving forward. Dr. Miller advised us not to do the egg retrieval with my own eggs at that point and suggested turning to an egg donor. We were absolutely heartbroken. We knew that this was a real possibility, but the news was hard to take in. We were at the end of stimulation injections, and my body just wasn’t cooperating (which had happened during another of our previous cycles). Knowing my track record, Dr. Miller was concerned that this round would not work and then we’d really be out of options with my insurance. We converted the round to an IUI, but it didn’t take. A month later we transferred the one frozen embryo we had (insurance would still cover that), but we were left with a negative result.
We were angry, frustrated, and beyond depressed. We knew it was no one’s fault (I had to keep reminding myself that I did nothing wrong), but we couldn’t understand why it was happening. We did absolutely everything we possibly could to have a positive outcome, but were left with nothing but grief. You know everyone means well when they offer their condolences, but there are times when IVF is an incredibly isolating experience.
A few months later, we met with Dr. Miller again to discuss using an egg donor. He answered all our questions and felt optimistic about this new plan. When we were ready, we contacted an agency to get information. Later that fall, we chose our egg donor and started to feel more optimistic ourselves. Our donor went through the testing process and started some medication. We had psychological evaluations to make sure that everyone was in the right state of mind to go through this process, and we met with a lawyer to go through the contingencies of everything.
Our donor finally had her egg retrieval in February; we received 48 eggs (which was incredible!), and out of the 48, we had 17 embryos to freeze. We couldn’t quite sync up cycles, so we worked toward an April transfer, but then that got canceled due to me catching COVID-19. We were finally able to complete our transfer in May, and at the end of the month we received our first positive pregnancy test! I’m due in early February with a boy and am currently 18 weeks along (for a frame of reference, I am now 39 years old).
Moving forward, we have 16 embryos at our disposal. Besides some days where I didn’t feel great in the first trimester, my energy has bounced back in the second trimester and I feel pretty good! We’re really looking forward to the future and still cannot believe that we’re on the other side after years of wondering “what if?”
It was a long, difficult four-and-a-half years to get to this point. There were so many tears, early morning appointments, and hours upon hours of frustrating phone calls with insurance and pharmaceutical companies. There were so many pregnancy announcements by friends and family. There were so many times when we felt raw, numb, and alone. But on the other hand, we had hope. We had a strong support system, and we had a caring doctor who genuinely wanted the best for us. Dr. Miller’s staff was so kind and offered me hugs on more than one occasion when we received bad news. We learned to give into the unknown (something difficult for us teachers to do) and trust that we were doing everything we could.
If I can offer advice, I’d stress the importance of learning to pivot. Our plan was always to have a baby, but our path certainly wasn’t a straight line. We had to adjust the details of our dream, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll be any less of parents than we would have if things had worked with my genetics. Our dream could still be a reality, but adjustments were needed. Keep the end goal in mind: if it’s to have a child, understand that what that means might look different than what you anticipated when you started the journey.
If you find yourself in need of an egg donor (or sperm donor, if that’s the issue), I’d encourage you to take your time and go through the process when you’re ready. Don’t try to look for yourself in the pool of applicants; you won’t be there, and that’s okay. When we first got information from the egg donor agency, they encouraged us to not pay as much attention to pictures, but to focus on the information: we examined their health history and that of their relatives; we listened to their reasons for being a donor; we screened applications for the possibility of twins and triplets (given my unicornuate uterus, multiple births at one time was not considered a viable option); we also poured over their previous donor cycles to see what kind of success they had.
In the end, we chose someone who looked happy. She genuinely wanted to help other people conceive and assisted others in that goal already. The agency (and Dr. Miller’s office) couldn’t say enough good things about her, which was really reassuring. Besides matching my ethnicity, she does not look like me, but I’m keeping in mind that our boy very well may look more like my husband than the donor. If he doesn’t, that’s okay, too. This was something I had to learn to get comfortable with before we officially went through the donation process.
There are times when I look back at the last few years and the pain comes crashing back, and I’d be lying if I said it was easy to move on from my genetics. However, at the end of the day, the goal is to have a baby, and I learned that it is still possible if my genetics are no longer an option. This could be a path for you, too.
We would also encourage you to let people in and have a support network. My husband and I did not always want to talk about our struggles, but knowing we could speak with family and friends was helpful (and there are other support groups if you aren’t getting the support you need from those around you, too). Even though most of the people you know might not “get” the struggle you’re going through, it’s important to remember how many people are in your corner. You’re going to feel alone. You’re not.
Keep the faith. We’re rooting for you!